Valentine Blues – Chapter Eight

Click here to read the previous chapter: Valentine Blues – Chapter OneValentine Blues – Chapter TwoValentine Blues – Chapter ThreeValentine Blues – Chapter FourValentine Blues – Chapter FiveValentine Blues – Chapter SixValentine Blues – Chapter Seven

CHAPTER EIGHT

*****

”You know we can give you guys space right? Just incase you need an alone time with her to find your tongue” Tonia teases grabbing Melody’s sweets, unwrapping one and throws it into her mouth, enjoying Darren’s expression on his face.

Darren runs a hand through his hair  and lets his hand rest on his neck and smiles, shaking his head  while the other hand goes to his  pocket. ”Tom, isn’t your wife supposed to be celebrating her birthday outside with the rest of everyone?”

”Oh, it can wait. I just want to sit here and watch you stutter, and to think he went all ”I am not interested in any gir-”

Tom clams his wife’s mouth shut with his hands. Her words are muffled against his palm over her mouth as she continues to speak ”gfugygfdygfdugfdusgfudgffgfh”

Lucy laughs, ”I like you Tonia more already” she also picks up sweet and puts it in her mouth, watching the duo staring at themselves, she winks at her friend, Annalisa, who smiles shaking her head.

”Let the man be, don’t cram on his mojo Tonia, in fact, I hear them calling for  you..like ”Come cut your cake Tonia” he says pulling his wife away with him as she struggles playfully to  speak ”No I want to watch him..gggglfggfgg… hey let me talk hahahaha.. Darren went..”No! I am not interested in… dfgfhsgfdhf ”…Girl! Now see him stu-ghgfglhfhgggggg”  He takes her out the door laughing at her silliness and covering her mouth again.

”I swear, what kind of wife did I marry?” His voice fades

”The crazy sexy one you so loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” Her voice was a pitch higher than his as it follows with loud sloppy kisses.

Darren shakes his head again chuckling ”My friends, they are a different kind of crazy, don’t pay them any mind”

”Trust me, I have my share of crazy.” She smiles tugging another stray hair behind her ear.

He stares at her for a few seconds.  ”So,  hi?”

”Hi!” she replies.

”Hi?” he smiles

”Hi..” she chuckles smiling.

*****

CLOUDS AWAY… WHERE TIME STANDS STILL.

”Hi? Just hi? Who in the heavens trained this man in speaking to a girl? I mean they already had intimate moments with each other,  so why aren’t they just nsync already? I mean isn’t that supposed to seal up everything? Isn’t the love supposed to blossom immediately instead of awkward moments of ‘‘Hi’s“? The arrow was dipped in the spell of falling -in love I made myself… so fall in love.” he says frowning as he watches them using his binoculars from the cloud tapping his finger on a cloud-made table as it made sounds of Tapiditap- tapiditap! Tapiditap-Tapiditap!

”One more Hi and I swear to God-”

”You forget that you will not swear with my name Cupid!”

The voice says behind him. Cupid jumps ”Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!” He screams like a girl as he drops his Binoculars. He holds his chest turning around.

”Dear Pops… don’t scare me like that” He calms himself down tying his loosened white cloth over his right shoulders and below his abdomen covering his… if he has any in fact.

”I wasn’t trying to. You think hiding under a cloud of rock  for days unending keeps you away from me?”

Cupid shakes his head ”I wasn’t hiding away from you Pops”

”You know all liars have a spot in some very steamy place that can’t be quenched down… I mean down, like all the way so down below?”

”I know. Trust me, I can only imagine the heat that comes up from down – down like way down below. And I wasn’t lying Pops” he picks up his binoculars and shoves it into his white cloth that doubles like a deep pocket.

Silence as thunder roars silently..

”I was just not saying the truth… sometimes” Cupid jumps back staring in everywhere in random.

”What’s that called?”

Cupid taps his jaw ”White lie?”

”White lie, black lie, thick lie and transparent lie, even African lie or Jesus lie is still a lie”

”Did you call me father?” Jesus’s voice was heard.

”No son, just using your name as a reference ”

”Oh of course you would love to be here would’t you- you  ..you-” Cupid stutters.

”About to insult my son Cupid?”

”What am I Pops… your cat?” He throws back.

”My midget!!” came the reply.

The thunder rumbles loudly…”Oh that is a good one Pops” more thunder claps and rumbling.

Cupid frowns ”Hahahaha, laugh all you want Jesus and you too Pops” he points everywhere the voice came from.

God chuckles ”Oh, don’t be a kill joy, that was a good joke”

”Wasn’t funny!!” Cupid folds his arms.

”Come here Cupid, come give us a hug!”

”Leave me alone Jesus! You too Pops! ” Cupid waves his hands away, turning  and sinking into the clouds.

Jesus is seen standing and smiling… ”You are the king of savage Pops!”

”I know” They are standing side by side.

”You know, you should insist on teaching him what I mean about spreading love” He says to Jesus who smiles,

”Believe me, I tried, but the little man is-”

”I hear you both talking about me!!” his voice breaks through the clouds.

They chuckle sinking away as the thunder roars in their laughter.

 

*****

Cupid is seated dangling on a cloud branch, frowning and muttering inaudible words.

”Psst!”

”Go away Jesus!!”

The person lowers himself and seats beside him ”It’s me!  You know, I can help you!”

Cupid turns to see Gabriel, he glowed, Cupid squints his eyes.

”You should not bring the sun to a sit-out, what do you want to do, burn me up before my time?”

Gabriel chuckles pushing the sun away ”Sorry, was cold, needed some heat. So, I see your lovebirds have met again”

Cupid smiles ”Yeah, those two scalawags were avoiding each other like plagues, had to ensure that this time when they meet, no running away. This love will happen. i ensured it, I even dipped another arrow in my love spell and sent it down. Soon, wedding bells and all that Jazz”

”I see” Gabriel touches his jaw rubbing it.

”I see it, what’s I see? You act like you don’t see the big picture here”

”I do, but you do not” Gabriel cocks his head to the side looking at Cupid who has an incredulous look on his face.

”Hey, I found these two heart broken and lonely  strangers and brought back a little sunshine into their lives; I gave them love and they will love each other and live happily ever after. What else is the big picture? This is the love Pops asked that I share and you lot could not come up with a simple formula to achieve it, I did, me Cupid, the master of love… did it all on my own, the least I can get is a little credit but no… Pops doesn’t seem impressed but complained about me adding some spice… I mean they are humans, their love is equated with intimacy yes?”

Gabriel smiles ”If you say so, go on tell me how smart you are. ”’

”I know so. See, it’s simple  for these  humans, you want them to love and fall in love with another? You need to give them some push… I mean creating the atmosphere for some loving which they had, they did and … love happens. See, they obviously like each other, they just need to stay more than a minute to realize this. Now, I went all out to ensure they get to meet after fruitless attempts to make the meeting coincidental, now they have. Now I have dropped a spell to bound them together you see”

”So what happens here on out?” Gabriel hides a smile.

Cupid smiles openly ”Love love and  more love. Cupid’s love is the ish man. I mean what happens when a man falls in love with a woman? Peace, happiness, joy, no quarrels, fights… just love and all things love. I just can’t wait till those two walk down the isle and bear some cuties. Pops and Jesus would have to give me a standing ovation then”

”And I am sure you added some ”Lust-spice” to it again?” Gabriel inquired.

Cupid shakes his head, Gabriel raises an eyebrow…

”Just a spoon” he says innocently raising his index finger in the air and looking at it, Gabriel raises the other eyebrow

”Two spoons I meant” He adds another finger and shows it to Gabriel.

Gabriel folds his hands now and turns to him.

”Okay okay stop staring at him like that. Fine, I added 100 spoons. There, happy?”

”CUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!”

”Holy Sshhhhhiiiiiiiiii POPS!” he grabs his bow and arrow ”Tell him I went to earth.” He is running through the clouds and jumping through it, with one hand holding unto his bag and the other his cloth which is loosening and his tush showing as he ran.

Gabriel lauhs ”Oh, you never learn Cupid!” Gabriel stands up ”Should I go after him Pops?”

”No! let him, he would come when he sees it.”

”Why don’t you just tell him?”

”A child who feels he knows it all should be allowed to do it all, only then would he realize the folly of his ways”

”And Darren, Annalise?”

”Let the humans be, they  would come to understand and may even teach him something too. In the main-time, close the windows, I will not behold iniquity… neither would my children”

”Yes father” Gabriel  nods as he drags the clouded-window and then closes it.

*****

Few Seconds Later…

”Hi?” Darren repeats

Annalisa laughs ”Hi Darren!”

Lucy plops another chocolate into her mouth  she chuckles ”Hi Annalisa and Darren, another syllables please other than the ”H” and ”I”.

They turn to look at her, the door opens and Tom walks in. ”Sorry, came back for the cake while I tied her to a chair” he winks at his friend, smiles at Annalisa and heads for the cake and  chocolate bag and sweets. Then he pauses when he sees Lucy still standing there. He goes to her and hands her the bag.. ”You need to come sing a birthday song for the wife”

”But, here is more fun watching them say nothing other than Hi Annalisa, Hi Darren like this people have slept with each other and have done things their mothers would blush about and have probably tasted all the taste-ables and poked and ahhhed and yes yes God yes and more and harder and …”

Tom pushes sweet into her mouth ”I won’t be surprised if you are a distant cousin of my wife, arrghhhh, you both talk too much” he chuckles, taking her hand, lifting the cake with the other and pulls the laughing Lucy away.

They watch them leave, then they turn to each other.

”Finally alone”

”Yes, finally alone” Annalisa nods.

”You want something to drink?” He goes to the fridge, turning to her as he opens it.

”Water!”

He chuckles and brings out Juice ”No one drinks water during a party, and I know you are a heavy alcohol drinker so I won’t be giving you one because I don’t want you drinking too much and let your other wild side show. I do remember the crazy stunts you pulled at the club, in front of the ice-scream shop and stuff.” He chuckles  ”No repeat Anna”

”Why? Because I can see you already finished two bottles. Scared we might end up having sex again?”

He smiles turning to her, he grabs a glass and pours juice for her ”Not necessarily but… who knows” He hands it to her ”So, quick question”

She watches him as she sips, she nods.

”I don’t mean to pry but, how have you been since.. I mean not since the sex I mean, since your ex. ?”

”I have been awesome”

”Healed?”

”I am made of steel Darren,” she taps her chest

”Glad”

she eyes him ”You?”

”Well,” he pulls out a chair for her , placing his hands on her shoulders, he lowers her to it. ”It took a bit but, I glued right back up, focused on my career and ventured into other things that made me happy. ”

”You still think about her?”

”Nooooo. Not at all. You know what we should do?”

”No?”

”Not dwell on the past. Let’s just assume that today is a brand new day and we too grown ass adults ran into each other, struck a conversation and all, yes?”

Annalisa nods liking the idea.

”So, I will go first. Hi, my name is Darren Bloom, Accountant. I work for the Mark and Smith’s firm out at  the Simpsons.” He smiles as he continues bringing the glass of juice he had given her earlier to his lips and sipping   ”..and I would like to take you out on a date sometime, to see a movie or go skydiving or mountain climbing or just seat around and listen to our crazy friends make jest of us. What do you say?”

”Yes!!!”

They turn to see Lucy and Tonia by the door giving them a thumbs up ”We give our blessing children, go on and… wait Darren, Darren” they chorused as they see him walking towards them telling them goodbye nudging them backwards and out the kitchen.

”What are you girls do-?” Annalisa face-palms laughing. Darren shuts the door. He turns to her resting on it.

”We could sell them you know, to the lowest bidder” She suggests.

He nods laughing, ”We could, hopefully they don’t cause their buyers to run mad”

”Didn’t think about that” Annalisa taps her jaw chewing her lips sideways.

”Yeah, so… where we we?” He goes back to seat. He grabs her glass of juice again, she reaches and takes it out of his hands, taking it to her own mouth, she sips.

”We were at the point where I say…I am Annalisa Bruce, not a fan of my middle name. I work for an online Magazine firm, Madivas. We are into anything fashion, news worthy, entertainment and ahh, my all time favourite… stories. I don’t mind a date, maybe we can pick a movie or something. ”

He nods his head ”Perfect”

”Eh guys, I cannot hold this ladies any longer so…” They hear Tom’s voice and laughter.

”I think we should join the party” Annalisa says ”I bet Tonia cannot wait to have a scoop of juicy details”

”Yeah, Tonia too”

”They would make best friends?”

”They may even be sisters, how do you cope with Lucy?”

”Oh dear Lord she is a…” Annalisa trails off as Darren opens the kitchen door to find Tom under attack as his wife straddles him and then delve multiple kisses to his face and licking it while smearing his face with cake with her other hand. Friends and guests are laughing at his discomfort.

Lucy was giving her more cake and laughing wickedly.

Annalisa breaths completing her sentence ”—–a nutcase”

”Help!!! Darren!!” Tom chokes ”Save me from this karashika!” Tom pleads chuckling, He was tied to the chair with ropes. The room were filled with five ladies to one one man. Who had come to celebrate with her.

”Bestfriend calls.” He nudges Annalisa’s shoulders.

”Yeah, I also need to un-plug bestie from her madness, look at her giving small cakes to Tonia to smear his face with joy…and that evil grin!” They both look at Lucy.

”Bhuahahahahah!!” she chuckles clapping and handing more chopped cake to Lucy.

”Okay” He laughs going to his friend, ”Hey Tonia, why don’t you find someone your own size” He winks at her, pulling his jacket and then folding the sleeves off his white shirt.

She climbs down from her hsuband, she turns to him.. ”Someone like you?”

”Yeah, if you have the balls to!!” Darren winks at Tom,

”Give her hell bro.” Tom says licking his lips from the sweetness of the cake.

”Oh, really now.” Tonia looks back at her husband and then at Darren.

”Huhun” Darren reaches for the cake, puts a piece in his mouth ”Hmmm damn, this is nice” Darren says picking another piece, and another, he stares at Tonia ”You want to hit first or I go first” He makes a stance as though he was about to fight, showing her a piece of cake in his hands.

Annalisa is behind Lucy now, she also picks a  piece of cake and eats, ”Oh they are really good”

”I know right!” Lucy laughs putting two in her mouth, she gives the tied Tom one by placing it into his mouth, he chews it.

”Psst! Untie me!”

Lucy laughs wickedly ”No !”

Annalisa and the guests laugh.

”Come on, scared?’ Darren beckons to Tonia who takes a step closer to him… ”No, but you should be”

”Why?” He stares at her curiously.

”Because I just set you up. Ladies?” She says over her shoulders.

Darren straightens up ”Is that a code word for something or it just means ladies?” he eyes the ladies behind her smiling at him mischievously.

Tonia snickers, then she snaps her finger. ”Show him what that means”

”Er Tonia, what does that mean?”

She folds her hands  and shrugs. Suddenly, five girls stand up from the crowd and are coming towards him, Darren moves backwards. ”Er Tonia, what are these, your stooges? ”

”Oh, I told you I was going to pay you back for doing it to my husband, hahahahahah”

Darren understanding now made to run ”Tom! Tom…..”

Tom is laughing ”Tied up buddy. Maybe your Valentine blues can help you”

They are are infront of him now, pushing him to the chair, while they pull at his cloths him with him struggling, he bellows”Annalisa!!!”

”Er….”She looks at him and then at everyone ”Do I help him?”

”You want to join him? Trust me… I have two hot guys here who wouldn’t mind to help you too.”

Annalisa raises her hands above her head, then she picks up cake and plops it into her mouth ”I didn’t see anything”

”Atta girl” Tonia turns away from her and then back to Darren who is squirming and laughing and begging.

She smiles ”Careful ladies, don’t break anything, I need to see my grand kids.” they all laugh ”He goes into the freezing pool with nothing but briefs on okay.. and lots of red kisses on his body, tickle him till he begs and take a picture for the gram. It’s payback time, hahahaha” she claps leaving them and going back to her husband as she mounts him.

”Hey baby”

”Hey baby” Tom smiles at her before they kiss passionately.

”This is some weird party” Annalisa says eyeing the girls almost through with stripping Darren.

”Yes it is, by the way, I like Darren.” Lucy tells her friend.

Annalisa stares at him as he is being pulled up and taken outside while the crowd follows behind them. Tom has been untied by his wife, they join them outside as the guys lifts Darren off the ground and danging him close to the pool. Annalisa and Lucy is beside them as well.

”I hate you Tonia, it’s going to be freaking cold!” Darren bellows holding on to the group of men who has him on their shoulders about to fling him.

”I love you too” She blows him kisses.

”That is the idea bro, my nuts frozed my last birthday when you did this to me. And like me, you will survive..” Tom  laughs as he kisses his wife. ”Brace yourself son, it’s cold. Santa cold” he laughs .

”Lets go..” Tonia screams clapping her hand and whistling.

”One, two…three..- eight…nine” they all chorused.

”Oh shiiiitttt!” was the last thing they heard Darren exclaim before he was flung into the pool and everyone went into a happy cheer, clapping and whistling.

Darren is screaming inside the freezing pool. They are laughing, everyone counts one to twenty as Darren tries to control his shaking from the cold. When everyone chants ”Twenty”,  Tom runs into the house and comes back with a huge white towel he throws to Darren who is then allowed to come out of the freezing pool with everyone clapping, cheering and slapping his back.

Now they all file back into the house to continue the party.

Annalisa doesn’t go back out, she stands watching as he wipes his body, draping the large towel around him. He walks to her smiling but still shivering.

”It feels like I am caught back in time and ended up in a fraternity college party” She hands him his cloths, Tom had stylishly dropped it over her shoulders before he gave Darren the towel. He nods…

”Those two never did grow up” he notes.

They smile.

*****

Two hours later …

”Bye, thank you all for coming!!!” Tonia hugs her friends at the door as the last person leaves. She turns to the four people behind her ”Thank you Lucy, you had fun?” she goes to hug her.

”Mad fun, you should celebrate every month” They hug

”Hell no!” Tom states pulling his wife ”This crazy is enough to last for months, thank you”

”Oh poor husband. Too bad you are stuck with me” she squashes him in a hug  ”And Annalisa, thank you for… making my dear old friend want to come back to the life of the chase” she winks at her.

Annalisa smiles picking her bag, ”Er… well, thanks I guess. And it was a great party, thank you for having me”

”You are welcome ”

”So, we gatto go, Tonia, see you next week. Tom, great to see the husband and Darren my mannnnnnn!” she hails him, Annalisa face-palms again. ”Guess I would be seeing you around.”

”I guess so. Bye Luce” he waves , ”Bye Anna” he smiles.

”Bye!” she smiles back.

Silence as everyone watches them.

”No hugs, no goodnight kiss? I have a spare bedroom just incase you both wanna…you know?” Tonia trails off winking. Annalisa and Darren shake their head saying ”No!” together, Lucy chuckles loudly.

”Father… forgive my wife. Amen!” Tom prays to the heavens.

Tonia chuckles ”Hehehehehe!” Don’t mind me, I forgot to take my drugs, my craziness starts randomly. You both are ”good peoples, good peoples!!” She gives them a thumbs up.

”Yes they are. Okay, bye!” Lucy is out the door and so is Annalisa as they wave. The door closes .

They both turn to him  ”Soooo Annalisa, I like her” Tonia says.

”Of course you do. You just want me back to dating and… oh shit!!!” he runs to the door, dashes out as soon as he opens it and runs outside.

”What happened? Darren?” Tom and Tonia rushes after him. They catch up with him as he stands watching their car fade away.

”What Darren?”

”I forgot to take her number!!!” He exclaims breathing hard as he tries to catch his breath.

Tonia is shaking her head, so is Tom.

”Dude, you embarrass all men. How can you tell a girl you want to take her for a date and you don’t take her number. How many times now bruh?”

”Three!!” Darren bites his lips.

”Tsk Tsk Tsk! ”

Darren blows out hot air.

*****

”So when are we going on our date?” Lucy pulls to a stop in front of Annalisa’s house.

”Me, not we and-” she frowns ”We haven’t quite decided on that yet.”

”Oh? Call and ask him then” Lucy hands her her bag as she shuts the car door.

”Well… I don’t have his number”

”Okay, since you gave him yours he might just call and-”

”I didn’t give him either”

”Wait, within the whole hi and hello and you look good and those smiling and blushing and wanna go out on a date, you fools didn’t take you both’s numbers?”

Annalisa shakes her head slowly..

”Oh, I am ashamed of you Anna!” She shakes her head ”He fine, too fine to pass up like that. Other girls be eyeing him in that party and you went and forgot to give him your number. oh..sad. sad. !”

Anna shakes her head and laughs ”Don’t be dramatic!”

”Its been months you… since your ex, and you have been withdrawn and walking around like a loner . Of course I would be dramatic. Can I cry for effect?” she pouts, Anna laughs.

*****

Cupid who has been watching exclaims his frustration ”ARRGHHHHHHH THE HELLLL! WHAT KIND OF SLOW HUMANS ARE THESE… WHYYYYY!!’‘ He covers his face with both hands as he sobs. ”After going through the process of bringing them together and hoping forever happens from today, they go and… how the hell are they going to go on a date when they can’t communicate and..”.. he pauses as he thinks of something. ”Silly me Cupid”  He hits his head as He brings out an arrow, sprinkles something on it and then shoots it after saying ”Be creative Tonia, you aren’t crazy for nothing” he snickers as he watches it sink down, landing on their roof, sinking below and hovering over her head before it evaporates.

*****

Darren hits Tom’s hand away the third time, Tom places his hands on Darren’s nose again and pulls it. Darren hits it away again. Tom reaches for his ears and pats his cheeks, Darren pulls Tom’s ears too.

”Can’t even get a number” Tom says every time he touches Darren and pokes him.

”I forgot!” Darren hits his hands away.

”Only kids forget!” He slaps Darren’s face playfully, Darren hits his hands away again.

”Dude, humans forget and I am one”

”You are slow human, we should deport you”

”To where?”

”The land of forgetting to ask for the most important detail to take someone on a date” Now he pokes Darren’s side.

”Hey… you won’t let this go will you?” Darren blocks his hands again from his face.

”Not until you think of how to rectify it. I won’t have you mopping at an empty house and act like you aren’t lonely”

”How, I can’t rectify it because I don’t have her number”

”Exactly, Mr -Forgot -to -take -her-number!” he pokes him again.

”Arrgh Tom I will plug out your eyes” Darren threatens.

”It will hunt you at night” Tom chuckles poking him again.

She whistles to get their attention.

”Oh don’t worry, I will just call her and ask her for her number” Tonia who has been watching the men bicker about why he forgot to take the number of his date said.

They stop bickering and hitting each other and turns to her ”See, my wife has sense, creative sense. ” Tom points to his wife and touches his temple nodding his head right before he slaps Darren playing across his face, Darren heads for him but Tom wraps his hands around Darren’s neck and holds him, he then proceeds to scatter his hair. Darren is laughing because he knows as he is held this way, he can’t  move. Tom was bigger and stronger.

”Hey you win you win!”

”Yas!!”‘ Tom lets him go and then raises two hands in the air in victory ”I always win, Tom Tom Tom!!” he chants his name.

”Vain!” Darren says arranging his hair.

”Sssshh!” Tonia says as she reaches for her phone and dials, then she smiles as it was picked. ”Hi Lucy, I don’t mean to be a bother, my friend is such a klutz, i wonder, is your friend still with you or you separated already?”

*****

Lucy smiles broadly, eyeing Annalisa who is staring at her funny ”What do you know, she is standing right here. Oh, you guys just figured out they didn’t take their numbers right?” Lucy laughs ”I know right? Who asks a girl out and doesn’t take a number, Klutzi tell you. Yes, she is staring at me with those big blue eyes. She is at fault too, I mean if the guy forgot she could offer right? I know. Silly girl. Yes, I should  send her back to dating school. hmm hmm, sure, I should give you her number or… yes I think that’s better, let’s have them give it to themselves” she hands her the phone ”better do the needful or i will hunt you for ever” Lucy threatens with a smile.

Annalisa takes the phone ”You wish” she tells her friend as she places it to her ears ”Hello?”

*****

”Here” Tonia stretches her hand to him, he steps forward as Tom nudges him. He takes it to his ears.

”Hello. So..erm…”

*****

Cupid has a large smile on his face as he begins to dance ”Who is the man, who is the man!” he chants.

”You mean who is the midget!” came the voice behind him.

”AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”‘ He screams.

*****

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TO BE CONTINUED.

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